THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG
After over twenty years of health struggles, too many doctors to count, seeking various treatments, and trying endless medications, I have finally been diagnosed with Chronic Lyme disease. How this unexpected illness that had eluded detection for years finally revealed itself is a miracle. The relief I felt at finally getting a diagnosis and proving to myself I wasn’t crazy was short-lived because of the overwhelming treatment options and lack of medical consensus.
I wanted to start writing this treatment journey for three reasons. The first reason is the small chance that it might help someone experiencing the devastation that so many Lymies have to go through, or any overwheming trial that you may be facing. I am blessed to have been guided to find several people who have had their lives affected by Lyme, whether it be themselves or their loved ones. These people have given me hope when all hope was gone. They have shown me that although I have a long and challenging journey ahead, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I often wish I could look back and read the journey these people have made to recovery. I know it would be inspiring. If I could inspire just one person to press on and fight, it would make everything I’m going through feel worthwhile.
The second reason is to help me heal. I know that many Lyme sufferers are often treated for PTSD. Lyme Disease is brutal. It affects not only your body, but it really messes up your mind. I know that there are many things I’m going to need to work through to heal. One of the most liberating things for me was to be able to reveal that I finally had a diagnoses. I was so sick and tired of always being the person you knew who was constantly sick and tired. When I finally found out I had Lyme I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I felt such relief. Even though I had just been diagnosed with an incurable, debilitating disease, I felt relief. At least there was a reason I had been suffering for so long. It is cathartic to be able to write down my feelings and let it all out. Healing my soul is going to be part of healing my body.
The last reason I want to write about my life with Lyme is that I want to thank my Heavenly Father for this blessing. It’s a strange thing to feel gratitude for something that is literally killing me. While I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy, I understand that I have this burden because there is something I need to learn from it. I’m not always super grateful and upbeat. Most of the time, I’m not. I know that I do better when I look at the blessings and the good that comes from my trials, much better than when I’m in a self-pity mode. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, my faith is an integral part of who I am. I couldn’t write about this experience without writing that my Savior, Jesus Christ, has carried me through it so far, and I know that he will continue to carry me. I am a different person than I would have been if I hadn’t suffered from Lyme. I have gained an unwavering testimony of the Atonement of Christ. I have gained an enormous amount of empathy for those who suffer. I have gained gratitude for those angels on earth who love and serve and selflessly give to my family and me. I have gained far more from Lyme than it has taken from me. I have to remind myself of that on the hard days.